Secret 8: Make a Courageous Self-Introduction

by Matt Bird on June 5, 2014 · 1 comment

Relationology SecretsI once read an interview in one of London’s newspapers about the incoming CEO of a high street bank. Something about the interview really resonated with me, and so – even though I wasn’t entirely sure why I was doing it – I quickly wrote to him, inviting him out for a drink. A few days later, to my surprise and delight I received a reply, accepting my invitation. Even to this day I have no idea why he said yes, but I’m glad he did; a year or so later he was able to host an event for me on the top floor of their corporate head quarters. The evening raised hundreds of thousands of pounds for a community charity.

I like that story, but for every one like it, I have dozens more where the door has been slammed in my face. Even just the other day, having listened to a great interview on the radio I decided to write to the interviewee, explaining that I was convinced that there was a lot of shared interest between us. Would they be interested in an initial meeting to explore the possibility of working together? Their reply was as clear as it was stark; no way.

Self-introductions these long-shot, out-of-the-blue approaches to people youve never met require courage.

Will self-introductions all yield positive replies? Of course not. In my experience the positives are in the absolute minority, yet that does not stop me from continuing to reach out to people, introduce myself and suggest a meeting.

Of course, the times when a courageous self-introduction works and the person says yes to meeting makes all those rejections bearable. Reach out often enough, and it won’t be long before you’ll find yourself on a markedly different path to the one you were on before.

ACTION: Who could you courageously introduce yourself to today?

 Matt Bird helps leaders and organisations build the relationships needed to achieve greater success. He is the creator of Relationology and works as a keynote speaker, trainer and coach specialising in new business development and client relationships. This blog is an extract from his new book ‘Relationology – 101 Secrets to grow your business through the power of relationships’ available now from Amazon.

Matt Bird
Matt Bird, The Relationologist
Described as Malcolm Galdwell’s connector, Matt helps people and organisations build the relationships they need to achieve greater success. He is the Creator of Relationology about the art and science of relationships and how they drive business success. He is a keynote speaker, leadership consultant and prolific blogger. To find out more visit

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Kas Thomas October 13, 2014 at 13:15

I reach out to 50 strangers a day on LinkedIn. Most of them want to connect. A few will send personal notes thanking me for reaching out. Very seldom do I encounter a total sourpuss.

I reach out to hundreds of new people a day on Twitter. At least a third follow me back. My following is now 280,000.

Do these relationships ever turn out to be “useful”? Yes. I had a phone conversation with a movie producer.

You can stay in your bubble or reach out to others. The barriers to the latter are low. I say your advice is right on.


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