I was discussing networking skills during a networking event recently. A couple of fellow attendees had read my profile in advance and had been watching to see how I ‘worked the room’. Would I pass out lots of business cards? Did I make sure I spoke to everyone there?
I’m pleased to report that I did none of the above, I simply relaxed, enjoyed myself and had a number of interesting conversations. Some of those conversations promise to lead to interesting opportunities. But I digress.
Talking about behaviour at networking events with these two attendees, one commented that “you recognise when someone is networking poorly, but don’t actually notice it when someone networks well.”
He was absolutely right. Good networkers act naturally and enjoy conversations. They are focused on the people in the room, while able to recognise when they should take the conversation further, or in a different direction. Everything is natural. Good networkers collect relationships rather than business cards.
Poor networkers work a room methodically, going through the networking dance each time of “What do you do? – elevator pitch – business card exchange”. It’s obvious, it’s unnatural and it’s no fun for anyone involved.
I’ve just come across this story I told in my book ‘…and Death Came Third!’ which makes the point perfectly:
One of the best compliments I received was unintended. While on a trip to Asia, my travelling companion and I joined a group of British business people who were on a training course.
I was introduced as a speaker on networking and someone who ran networking events back in the UK. During the evening the organiser turned around to my companion and asked a simple question, “Why isn’t he networking? Surely this is a fantastic opportunity for him.”
What he hadn’t realised was that I had been networking. In fact, I had been networking very effectively. I had spoken with a number of the delegates that evening and I had been given a number of business cards from people who asked me to get back in touch when I returned to England and to arrange meetings to discuss business.
The key was that I hadn’t been running around the room trying to make sure that I spoke to everyone there. Instead I had allowed conversations to flow naturally and discussed business when others were interested and asked me. In short, nobody felt ‘networked’ and I enjoyed the evening by being myself.
If you are natural when you network and you simply show a genuine interest in the people around you, others will feel comfortable in your company and they will want to see you again, find out more about what you do and help you.
And they won’t feel networked.
Labelled ‘Mr Network’ by The Sun, Andy Lopata was called ‘one of Europe’s leading business networking strategists’ by the Financial Times.
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And there a true networker sums up the skill with such brevity that we are all left breathless. Thanks Andy.
The trick I often tell people is to ‘like people’ because if you don’t actually like people then you’ll never be natual enough with them to be curious and interested in them and have a conversation that matters.
Many thanks Linda. You are so right, the more natural your interest, the more genuine your interactions will be and the stronger the relationships you’ll be able to form.